If I'm not fought for, then I know I'm just a moment. A moment in your life when you needed someone and I was there. A phase... A chapter... A temporary filler for whatever hole you couldn't manage to fill yourself. Used, released, and left to question everything I must have done wrong.
Tag: Friends
Dust
Sometimes I feel like I am as insignificant to you as a dust particle floating through the air. Then for a brief second I glimmer from the sun... And you notice me as abruptly as I am forgotten. Originally posted 9/9/20
As If
You aren't here with us to pass around your stories, So we speak to each other as if you are dead. You'll never know the impact you had upon us, And it hurts to believe we'll never see you again.
Cheerio
It’s funny to me
how quickly I became
so appealing to you…
And then just as fast…
I became as unsatisfying
as a lonely, soggy cheerio
in a bowl of old, spoiled milk.
Dust
Sometimes I feel like
I am as insignificant to you
as a dust particle
floating through the air.
Then for a brief second
I glimmer from the sun…
And you notice me as
abruptly as I am forgotten.
Over Time
Over time I fear
I will forget all
the little things
about you.
The fine lines around your eyes.
The hazel green of your irises.
The blonde hair upon your arms.
The fading ink of your tattoos…
But even though
I may forget all these
little things…
I know I will never forget
the way you made me feel.
One More Time
Sometimes memories
run through my mind
at night like images on
a movie reel…
And I wish I could hit pause
to relive these moments
just one more time…
But like a winding collage
they just spin…
This Week…
Tonight doesn’t feel like a poetry kind of night…
It feels like a thinking/venting night and fuck… have I been thinking and wanting to vent it out. This week… lord has it been a week. Honestly… it’s been a beautiful disaster of a seven day stretch and I feel as if I’ve somehow done a year’s worth of learning/growing.
First, I lost my best friend (and that basically shattered me). Second, my biggest/worst fucking secret in the world, which I held precariously for years, came to light (and that turned my shatters into dust). Third, the secret ended up not being a secret like I thought (and then complete confusion consumed my said dust particles). Fourth… I learned not to tell my secrets to anyone besides my fucking cats (who don’t know more than ten words of fucking English anyways).
So I’ll break it down into a cute little list of things I learned and discovered this week:
- Sometimes I have to be strong for just myself (not others).
- What is meant to be is what is meant to be (good or not).
- I cannot change the past (no matter how hard I think I can).
- Time machines are not a fucking real thing (thanks Google for the unrealistic blueprints).
- Secrets always come out (no matter what you do to hide the trails).
- Don’t drink alcohol and tell those secrets (then those secrets are then just general information).
- Don’t get a low blood sugar at work from skipping meals (you will get sick at work, look really dumb, and have eight co-worker nurses stabbing you with needles).
- I really really really miss my best friend (A LOT).
- My cats are the most adorable things on the planet (besides otters… I really love otters).
- I’m going to grow up and be a recluse cat lady (95% likely).
All in all, it’s been a depressing yet gratifying week. Although, I would have appreciated all these events to be in separate weeks… but maybe next time.
Cheers!!!
P.S. Thank you everyone for keeping me going this week with all the positive comments and love. It means more than you can imagine. ❤ Hal
Anonymously Hal 