She laid there desolate and indisposed... Her cold fingers twisting strands of fine blonde hair. Her green eyes staring at nothing but the ceiling... While her mind tried to remind her why she ever cared.
It's just a powder... White Pressed and covered in an enteric-coated shell... Altering my mind while chemically convincing me I'm well. Branded to fix all the dopamine and serotonin... In lieu of my over-indulgence of caffeine and melatonin. Side effects may include suicidal thoughts and/or actions... But misery also holds a certain level of attraction.
Empty eyes staring blankly. Focused only on the disregarded imperfections on a painted plaster wall.
I feel her slowly creeping in like a snake in the grass... Ready to make her arrival... Ready to take over this body... And ready to constrict this unmedicated and vulnerable version of me...
Some nights the serotonin is just depleted... Leaving my mind to wallow in some bullshit self-retreat... And it's a lonely night long shamble... Known to me personally as camp self-defeat.
If you're willing to drink
from what the devil's
you'll figure out
what the hell I've been thinking...
Fragments of myself
have been hovering,
Suspended above me
in my own abyss of isolation.
I’ve been trying so hard
to get ahold of them,
Repeatedly reaching out
in acts of desperation.
But every time I go
to grasp them…
My touch just pushes them
into the wrong direction.
seemed to overpower
any and all of
And I began to
I was out on the dock Of the lake one dark night. I thought I was alone But you just weren't in my sight. With your hand around my neck You swiftly struck out my light. Then you tied the rope To the cinder block so tight. And I sank. And I drowned. And I lost all hope... But then the rope... It fucking broke. I fought to the surface Pain with every stroke. Leaving behind all the hopelessness That you had evoked. I reached the cool air Now gasping as I choked. I knew I had made it From you and your rope.
Give me a diagnosis Of why I'm so hollow. Please... Give me the instructions I promise I'll follow.
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