Sometimes I feel like I’m just not supposed to be here.
I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure if my idea of ‘here’ means this lifetime, world, or body… but at times I just feel so disconnected from my own reality. I can’t seem to figure out exactly who I am or where I want to be, but somehow know that my life is screaming mediocracy.
Part of me believes that I could be living some exceptional life if I was anywhere else. Like if I had just played my cards right… if I had followed my dreams… maybe I could have been extraordinary. It’s like I’ve personally somehow robbed myself of having a more desirable, purposeful identity. I mean don’t get me wrong… I’m grateful for everything I have in my life… but the part of me having an existential crisis right now is also pissed that it all feels so meaningless. I sit here alive and thriving, yet still considering myself a pile of confused nothingness. Meh.
So… yeah… that about wraps up my rant about my existence possibly being a mistake. Thanks for taking the time to read my dissociative thoughts. 🖤
Her tongue was edged
like shattered glass
as her thoughts
pierced the air…
An ambush of sharp,
left puncturing the minds
of anyone who dared to listen…
Beating slow and steady through the skin of my temple... My pulse softly reverberates underneath my head's pillow. Abruptly beats quicken, now loud and askew... By my minds reckless wandering to the sudden thought of you.
Just a little bee enjoying the sunflower’s florets. 🥰🖤 Taken by me 9/22.
Taken by me 10/22
Taken by me 10/22
My emotions are erratic, and hard to understand... And my head overflows with ideas and unfulfilled plans. My perceptions are complicated and haphazardly skewed... With a reality warped and questionably construed... My memories are my past but somehow still in my present... And honestly in the morning I'm just fucking unpleasant. My mentality is borderline of being clinically insane... But truthfully my flaws make me never want to change.